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Just another day [Aug. 22nd, 2012|09:30 am]
I hated that you said my #18. was pathetic. But at the same time, I liked how you noticed when i stopped.. It meant you were actually looking forward to it. 

I like how we never notice our addictions. And when it is too late, we realised it is the high we are running on. & we can't seem to let go of.
I like how I am scared of tomorrow, the fear that I'll lose you. But I like how I still want to carry forth. I like it so much. It makes me realise how much I feel for you. 

I am somewhat addicted to you. Not the kind i-need-to-see-you-everyday-if-not-i-will-curl-up-into-a-ball-and-cry-my-heart-out. I actually kind of like the missing. It makes me all buttery. No, I'm addicted in a way that I still think about you a lot. And i think about us. And what was once a mustard seed has now swelled into this giants oak tree, with roots so firmly tapered to the ground. I'm addicted to the security with you. & it has been a long time for me that I really felt this way.

There is so much more I haven't touched, or experienced. I still want to spend my day staring at you. Taking it all in. The framework of your rugged shoulders and the contours of your front that lightly brush that shirt of yours. Your perfectly shaped lips meshed well together with the sparkle in your eyes. Your deep guffaws, i finally gotten used to it. Like how i got used to that cute frown when you are sinking into sleep. And how when you wake, you would drop a kiss on my shoulder, assuring me you're still the same man i fell in love with.

#19. I like the security you give me. & I would never give it up for anything else.

P.S. If there are any grammatical errors, keep them to yourself. I just bared my heart to you. Thanks.
LinkI love Cheerios

(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2012|12:40 am]
Can I take it to a morning
Where the fields are painted gold
And the trees are filled with memories
Of the feelings never told?

When the evening pulls the sun down,
And the day is almost through,
Oh, the whole world it is sleeping,
But my world is you.

Of course I'm scared to be vulnerable with my feelings. After all, didn't it backfired on me before?
LinkI love Cheerios

(no subject) [Jul. 9th, 2011|03:02 pm]
feels so damn fucking good. hello livejournal
LinkI love Cheerios

(no subject) [Apr. 15th, 2011|09:34 am]
I don't think it's about someone you have been with for a long time .... I think it's more about a moment spent with someone that you have longed for after for so long. it's different than anything usual. and he's saying they'll be fine when they wake up and get back to reality, but for right now they have to take advantage of their opportunity. It is also about protecting. So it's not only the guy who's nervous, but the girl too. He wants to reassure her that it's ok, there is a need to protect her- "I'm breathing for two" But you know, this is only the way I see it.
LinkI love Cheerios

We all lose one another, [Apr. 11th, 2011|10:52 pm]
And silver coins for ghosts to gamble with
Marigolds and candles
This is birth and this is death
All in the same breath

We all lose one another along the way


Thinking about it, I still get mad, i get affected by it. I am human after all. March have indeed me shown me the brevity of friendships. I'm thankful for all my long time friends who got me Chloe, it really brought my family closer together. I'm thankful for the years of friendship. I sat at the poolside with Jiawei and Darrell talking into the wee hours of the night. J and I knew each other since we were 10. His obnoxious self made me cry back then and now it was all about Marlboro and party and sex. So much have changed since but nevertheless, the depth of our conversations was still enriching and it only gets better. Earlier tonight, I thought about a recent situation. i still got pretty mad about it, like how on earth one person can be a total obnoxious two face spiteful jack-ass. Even, if it's not about me anymore, then do it for the girl you like if she treasures her friendship with me. Yes I'm pissed because he acts as if the whole world owes him a living and never did a single thing wrong, even for breaking up a friendship, without regarding the fact before he came into our lives, she breathed a word that i was her best friend. Then i realised how wrong am i for getting pissed off and affected by it that i lost a single friendship when i have so many others around me. I think it was because i was already hurt by other life circumstances and just realised i was played a fool just took a stab to my pride. It just isn't worth fretting over it anymore. Sometimes, life is just too short to dwell over the tough things in life.

#& we'll all float on okay, and we'll all float on anyway.
LinkI love Cheerios

(no subject) [Apr. 9th, 2011|11:53 pm]
motions are scary, it runs wild. My mind feels like my mother’s purse. Jumbled up receipts from 1980s, starting out with a relatively normal size, but slowly expanding to what seems to be hopelessly, permanently open and overflowing. My mind feels like that- all jumbled up with tiny artifacts and useless items. Most of them would have to come out and be spread before myself to get me something of essential value to me.

And then, when i was in your arms, it felt like i was home. And i got into fights. Fights i didnt get. Fights i couldn’t understand. and it all dials down to emotions
LinkI love Cheerios

(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2011|04:27 pm]


Really realised i los a little bit of myself over the years; i leave a tiny bit of my heart with everyone, at hte end of the day, maybe i deserved the feeling of being unloved. I should hold onto the generosity of my love a little more, and let go of my pride just a little bit. In life, it's all about striking the perfect balance. Isn't it so?

I'm really blessed for my surprise 21st, really thankful for a smooth trip at Bintan. After that it just came crashing down, one whole week of exasperation and helplessness. Seeing Alicia struggle through her own challenges wasn't easy either, not to mention juggling all the overdued assignments waiting for us when we go back.

I know there are so many other things to be happy about, or effort for the people that deserve it. I guess that is what i should focus on :D
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the sky is the limit, the sky is the limit [Mar. 2nd, 2011|08:12 am]
After screwing up two exams, and collapsing in the final one yesterday. I come to terms that i am no superhero. I can't push as far as i hoped. Yesterday was quite frightening, to lose all senses and control of everything. I just pray Prof would let me retake the paper, considering the fact i fainted even before one seating. I miss the holidays already. I miss dark cherry mocha venti at Starbucks during christmas period. I miss reading. James Frey, Jodi Picoult, Josh Grisham. I miss watching re-runs snuggling up to you and our legs interlaced with the sheets and your apricot cinnamon smell wafting up my nose. Grey's Anatomy, One Tree Hill, Big Bang Theory. I miss movie marathon with my friends, or that minute of exhilaration when our food is delivered to our doorstep where the wait before seemed endless. I miss taking long runs. Only to know everything is within my control. And it is up to me to believe it.
LinkI love Cheerios

(no subject) [Feb. 26th, 2011|04:38 pm]
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than fuckin' perfect

Is being happy constitute to being perfectly comfortable next to you without anything to say?
LinkI love Cheerios

(no subject) [Feb. 24th, 2011|11:30 pm]
So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you, yeah I miss you
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face.

If only i could let you in, I could tell you how beautiful you are in my eyes. I would tell you i wouldn't change a single thing about you, cos i am not one to fix you. Perhaps, just perhaps, it's the greatest curse of this lifetime.
LinkI love Cheerios

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